“Firgrove gave me coping strategies for scans and traumatic appointments. It was hard putting these coping strategies in place through my pregnancy and talking through my miscarriages. But I can now use these strategies and calming techniques moving forwards when in stressful or triggering situations.”
“My counsellor helped me to be able to reason and understand my thoughts and feelings. Being honest with my emotions and showing these was the hardest. Moving forwards, I will continue to write down how I feel in the moment. This was helpful because its when the feeling is most real.”
“I loved coming to Firgrove! My counsellor was great; she listened and have me so many ideas on how to cope. My counsellor and I have an agreement that I can contact her again if I need to in the future – this is a good reassurance for me. It’s the best counselling I’ve ever had.”
“The Firgrove Centre have been such a support to me over the last year or so following the sudden death of my daughter and the subsequent pregnancy and birth of her little sister.
We had our first beautiful daughter who was born healthy in hospital and died suddenly only hours later. Initially, I turned to Firgrove for support in coping with the shocking loss of my girl and all the impact that had on every part of my life and relationships. As the months went on, I found myself on the pregnancy rollercoaster once again, so carried on attending sessions with my counsellor. In the initial few months, she gave me the space and time to open up about my little one’s death and the impact it had in every part of my life. Once I was pregnant again I was able to speak about the whole new wave of emotions that came with the news and journey.
We were able to focus on either the new pregnancy or the trauma in different sessions whenever I needed and she gave me the tools to manage moving forwards. I will never be the same but without the help I found at The Firgrove Centre I’m sure it would all have been even harder.”
“There were so many feelings that I had never voiced before I came to Firgrove. There was an exercise I did where I wrote letters to my parents to open the ‘box’ of feelings I had towards them. This was the hardest part of my journey. It was so helpful the way my counsellor recognised associations between feelings from the past and current situations.”
“It was hard to admit how much I was affected by things other people did and said. It was important for me to talk about these things with my counsellor and work them through. Firgrove gave me a safe space in which to talk through my feelings. I was given creative tasks to express my grief. For example, looking at the negative things I tell myself as if a friend had told me and asking myself, how would I reply to this.”
“I was not sure what to expect from the programme other than hoping to take the pain away. The pain for me hasn’t gone but an even better thing happened, I realised the pain is because of love and I have been able to fully processed this. The sessions at Firgrove enabled me to separate my thoughts and allowed me to process them logically looking at my heart versus my head.”
“The counsellor we had was very skilled managing to explore our emotions and guide the process in our minds to help overcome the grief. This was such a challenging experience, talking about the decision we had to make and reliving it, but the counsellor conducted the sessions so well, it made the difficulty of talking about it easier. We have come away remembering and being confident in our love for one another as a couple. We were given hope in these sessions to never give up on our dreams.”
“Having something to focus on weekly was helpful. Learning and understanding the process of trauma and grief has been so empowering. I felt like my grief mattered. Moving forwards, I now accept its okay to show my emotions, and make great use of the tools I have learnt to cope with these. I’ve always felt so welcomed. Thank you for helping me to feel like me again.”
“I have noticed such a positive change since using the Firgrove service. It has been so difficult to express my feelings and explain what happened. Now I have great little phrases and words to use to remind myself if I ever feel in a low moment again. I know now that I should not feel so much guilt but that it was a difficult decision.”
“Just having the session and having someone to talk to that understood was the main thing for me. Having the understanding of what was actually happening in my brain helped too; having someone who actually listened, cared and who I felt understood my pain, the looking forward and not back all the time.”
“It was hard to deal with the memories of what I went through but my counsellor helped me to understand why we feel things and how to cope with them using logic. I feel I have been through a clearing of past trauma and give the tools to cope with new ones through this top notch counselling.”
“Talking through the distressing elements of my trauma was hard but Firgrove were there to listen and sympathise. I now know its ok to feel emotions; its ok to let out the sadness; and its ok to cry when I need to.”
“I loved the tools Firgrove used and the ways to handle grief that they showed me specifically through creativity. It was difficult to vocalise my feelings and some of the negative thoughts but Firgrove taught me ways of viewing my situations and gave me ideas to channel my grief.”
“Firgrove was a place where I knew I was being listened to without judgement. My counsellor would repeat back to me what I said to enable me to reflect on my own feelings which I found helpful. I was encouraged to start writing a journal and I have continued this as it is so useful for me on my journey. The hardest part was telling my story from the beginning and reliving the painful moments again but I can see now that this was needed to be where I am now.”
“I valued having someone to talk to, especially someone who has also been through baby loss. I had been feeling so alone, yet here my feelings and grief were acknowledged and validated. I found the activities helpful to express my anger and grief as there were so many ideas to chose from. For example, ‘punching a cushion or throwing something (safely of course) for anger. I will remember what I have learnt at the Firgrove Centre and I know that it is always there if I need to contact them in the future.”
“Firgrove were there for me, noticing reactions to thing that I didn’t notice myself when expressing my feelings and to help me work through these. They gave me practical advice for coping with specific feelings that I had around my grief. I am now able to use the tools I was given in my sessions to work through any negative thoughts or feelings I may have again.”
“ My journey with Firgrove started when I lost our baby daughter in the 22nd week of my pregnancy, with no known causes and no previous issues throughout my pregnancy.
The day we lost her my whole world changed and I could have never anticipated the pain and grief that my husband and I were going to experience. It truly has been the hardest thing I have had to learn to live with.”
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“We are now seeing a lot more men coming for counselling as it becomes more socially acceptable for guys to reach out and ask for help.
One of our male ex clients who after courageously working through the stillbirth loss of his child, is intending to write a book about his experience.
How, as a man, he has learned to express his pain and cope with every aspect of his loss.
How he and his partner have lived through another pregnancy with the very real fear that this too would end in a stillbirth.
Happily, they went on to have a healthy baby.
This intended book once written and published will be vital as there are very few baby loss books on the market that men can truly relate to and engage with.”
“Our counsellor was very understanding. They helped us with examples and words of hope that gave us the strength to go ahead. We were recommended books that encouraged me. The most difficult part of it all was talking about the emotions we lived through with our termination. It caused me a lot of anger and I had to explore this during our sessions. Moving forward, I will remember that there is always another side of the coin, that we are not alone in this and that many other people unfortunately go through similar battles.”
“For me, to begin with, opening ip was so hard but as I progressed in my sessions it became easier to talk. The sessions were not rushed and I never felt pressured to complete by a certain date. The face to face activities I had were really helpful and a lot of these took me to places I did not expect to go. The sessions allowed me the time and space to think and discuss my issues and reach a level of acceptance for them.”
“I felt I was listened too. My counsellor provided me with such motivating words.”
“Learning more about anxiety has been really helpful for me. The way I view and speak to myself has changed. It’s been great, and the staff have always been so kind.”